Co-conspirators
The Son (TS) and The Daughter (TD) want a post-prandial biscuit.
This is fine. When it comes to food, I am very firmly in the 'live and let live' branch of Motherhood (as opposed to the fascist 'no sugar until they're 21' camp).
Of course, we have to resort to various forms of subterfuge when other mothers coming a-calling with their untainted-by-evil-foodstuffs kids.
So I have a small stash of rice cakes, multi-grain breadsticks and the omnipresent mini packets of organic raisins prominently displayed in my kitchen.
'Would Felix like a rice cake?'
'Ooh, I'm sure he would! Would you like a rice cake, Felix?'
(Of course, it's a rhetorical question, seeing as Felix is only nine months' old and can't yet speak to proclaim his hearty dislike of this disc-shaped styrofoam substitute.)
TS and TD are very good. I hand them a rice cake each too and they don't say 'ooh, what are these, Mummy?' or 'but can't we have a jaffa cake?'. They crunch through at least three each before I move onto the raisins. And, if offered a banana instead of their habitual chocolate chip cookie as a mid afternoon snack at a friend's house, they don't so much as bat an eyelid between them.
I'm ever so proud of them!
However, if the other mother hints at a diet which may include 5% of the RDA for saturated fat, I might consider confiding that I do also have some biscuits.
But lest you start to think that I am one of those mothers, please appreciate that I have my standards. I insist my biscuit offerings have healthy-sounding names, such as Digestive and Malted Milk.
Besides, this works well alongside my non-diet. Who, jittery and in need of a sugar rush, will want to reach for something so dull and wholesome?
*******
That said, if in the act of reaching for two such biscuits whilst holding a small child under one arm, one biscuit was to fall to the ground and break into three pieces, I may have to make an exception.
I mean, it's a well known fact that broken pieces of biscuit have a lower calorific value than they would whole.
This is fine. When it comes to food, I am very firmly in the 'live and let live' branch of Motherhood (as opposed to the fascist 'no sugar until they're 21' camp).
Of course, we have to resort to various forms of subterfuge when other mothers coming a-calling with their untainted-by-evil-foodstuffs kids.
So I have a small stash of rice cakes, multi-grain breadsticks and the omnipresent mini packets of organic raisins prominently displayed in my kitchen.
'Would Felix like a rice cake?'
'Ooh, I'm sure he would! Would you like a rice cake, Felix?'
(Of course, it's a rhetorical question, seeing as Felix is only nine months' old and can't yet speak to proclaim his hearty dislike of this disc-shaped styrofoam substitute.)
TS and TD are very good. I hand them a rice cake each too and they don't say 'ooh, what are these, Mummy?' or 'but can't we have a jaffa cake?'. They crunch through at least three each before I move onto the raisins. And, if offered a banana instead of their habitual chocolate chip cookie as a mid afternoon snack at a friend's house, they don't so much as bat an eyelid between them.
I'm ever so proud of them!
However, if the other mother hints at a diet which may include 5% of the RDA for saturated fat, I might consider confiding that I do also have some biscuits.
But lest you start to think that I am one of those mothers, please appreciate that I have my standards. I insist my biscuit offerings have healthy-sounding names, such as Digestive and Malted Milk.
Besides, this works well alongside my non-diet. Who, jittery and in need of a sugar rush, will want to reach for something so dull and wholesome?
*******
That said, if in the act of reaching for two such biscuits whilst holding a small child under one arm, one biscuit was to fall to the ground and break into three pieces, I may have to make an exception.
I mean, it's a well known fact that broken pieces of biscuit have a lower calorific value than they would whole.
posted by Marnie Sweet at
12:02 PM
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